I faltered when Tella read a short speech, intended for Joaquin (Romina's son), with movie recommendations, a book she'd like him to read ("The Little Prince" which she followed with one of my favorite excerpts from the book) and a wish that he had gotten to know her mom before she passed away. I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks as the lump grew bigger in my throat. Tella's face contorted when she talked about her mom and I felt myself clutching the pillows underneath me just to stop myself from getting up from my seat to rush to her side to hold her.
Still, days after, I find myself waxing nostalgic and thinking about her. I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss *making* her smile. I can silence these thoughts long enough to realize that she and I don't belong together; we don't fit...but a great deal of time and love and energy was spent on that relationship and I'd be foolish to think this feeling wouldn't linger for a bit.
I know someday I will find my other half; my missing piece. In a way I feel I am already well on my way there. And I am trying to be patient and strong and positive. But it's hard to wake up in a Queen-sized bed every morning with no one next to me. Night after night I go to bed alone, and have been for the better part of the last 6 years. After that long you start to wonder if maybe you're not worth waking up to.