Olivia Wilde is perfect. (Shut up, Cory.)

I think this photo is *beautiful*. I'm not into body modifications like this one, but I'd be lying if I said this picture didn't inspire me.

Today is Tella's 31st Birthday. I miss her. Not romantically, and not like I am missing something in my life that would make me feel whole. But in a very familial way. I love Tella; I adore her. And I miss spending time with her. Happy Birthday, Tel x x x

(1) Last night's episode of The L Word was one of the best ever -- or at the very least, one of the best in a loooong time. It was reminiscent of the episode from Season One where the rest of "the gang" plots to find out if Dana's crush (Lara) was really gay, first by sending Shane in who asks about "those juicy little figs." Last night was slick and funny and sexy and emotional -- exactly how this lezzie likes to spend her Sunday evening.

(2) Helena Peabody/Rachel Shelley is the sex. I mean, seriously.
Please click here when you're ready to cream your panties.

(3) Yesterday I took advantage of some VERY RARE alone time at my apartment -- I have a roommate, you see, who is always here with me...whom I love to bits. But yesterday he was helping a friend of mine paint her apartment and I got to have some naked time. Oh how I love naked time. (Let me preface this next part with the fact that I live in the ground level apartment facing the street.) I watched some lesbian porn on my computer and masturbated...for a long time. I hadn't realized the sun had gone down and that my blinds were open, meaning anyone walking passed could EASILY see inside my livingroom. Yah...that realization was a bit embarassing (and slightly exciting).

(4) The one I love disappeared yesterday. She told me to wait...told me she'd be right back...and then never returned. My heart broke a little bit.

Today's a new day.

That's right, ladies. When you tangle with a man, you get burned. Thanks Kit Porter for your infinite wisdom.

Starting fresh. Slate wiped clean. Expectations and past hurts left by the wayside. I am trying, hard, not to falter; not to fuck this up. I am trying equally hard to relinquish control and let this all unfurl as it should; in time. Much easier said than done.

She is on my mind. Lately, constantly.

I want to feel her warmth, her arms around me, her hair in the center of my hand.

Patience, Jen. Patience.